RIP techie shubh

I can't even imagine where my life is heading... Imagine the Football world cup and the Zidane head-butting fiasco. Ditto for me. No, I mean I wasn't unlucky enough to be brought down on earth by the man himself but you can say that I used it as a metaphor! So today, I "metaphorised" the famous strike!

What happened to me? Well, you know I was never a geek. Never. And I wont be, ever. Studies and me are like Arjun Singh and Venugopal Rao. Never in the same frame. I am still amazed how I managed to wear the graduation robe (no i did not steal and sport it, i earned it!). Oh, I studied BMM! hahaha.. yeah yeah i kn.. I got the answer.

After so many makeovers ( people used to say that I look like a geek!) I now look like a goon. Not a perfect one though but very far from a geek.

But alas, as we say that destiny like a spitted chewing gum stuck on your head. I am in the making of a tech geek.

My latest assignment as a journo is to cover technology. FUCK. A TECH GEEK.

RIP SHUBHASHISH

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"I need my burger," says America

White America, We love you!

We all know that our favorite America needs someone or the other to blame to put their rusting weapons and army to use for their good. Afghanistan, Iraq, kinda South Korea (still trying though!), Iran, and then list will continue until the cows come home. However, there has been a recent entry into this honorable list, a country which hasn't attacked forget ruled for over 2000 years, a country so peaceful that more than a billion kill each other everyday leave alone the time to conspire against anyone else, a place so serene and beautiful that selling masks and setting up a medicine factory will easily make you richer than Warren Buffet, Lakshmi Mittal, Ambani Bros, Bill Gates' entire wealth put together - India.

I heard Condoleeza "Rice" saying that the food shortage faced by the world is due to India, yes, India. The reason? Our population is expanding at such a disastrous rate that we are cutting down on our exports of food products leaving the poor kids of the western world hungry for their burgers and pizzas. Hmm... pretty interesting. Now imagine a scenario where America will announce a war against India for stocking up food items for its own people and not letting America feed its poeple. Bush might make this ultra secret speech of his public in coming days of which I have smuggled a copy, "This is a direct infringement of the rights of the Americans, the first citizens of the world, for food. Its us who have the first right over any food item and oil, both cooking and burning in this world. If any country tries to feed its own people and not America, I, inedible Bush, on behalf of the greatest sucker on the ass of this planet will wage a war. A war for the freedom of food that deserves to be eaten by us, a war for the rightfully hungry cattle of the western world and a war for setting things wrong from right."

So all my fellow Indians, remember that its America's cattle who needs our maize and wheat more than our poor. It is our customary duty to bow to them and feed them with open hands and clean their shit. As we haven't learnt to make right right, don't be surprised if the Indian ass-licking govt tomorrow actually goes on to say that due to the pressures from the western world and to maintain the inflow of FDI into the country so that we could prosper and our economy could grow at 9 percent every year, we have decided to continue the food exports to America and other western countries at prices lower than the minimum wage a laborer gets in India.

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Beijing Lafalympics

Olympics are around the corner and a whole new controversy has erected in wake of the Tibetan protests against the Chinese. Now I am not a very big fan of China, actually speaking not even an ounce let alone the word 'big', but this post is not about China bashing which I don't to indulge openly in but a few valid points according to me, I would like to make.

First, the Olympics are not just games but a holy ritual to protect human identity, moral ethics and safeguarding the rights of every human being alive and dead. Olympics are the soul to the word Sport and a true spirit of being a human supersedes everything else when it comes to the holy games. Now China, touted as the next super-power, given the liberty if we, Indians, let them maintain the lead which I am sure we will not is caught on the wrong side of the pendulum as always. Be it the massacre at Tienanmen square or not letting its citizen know what happening around the world. I mean, I really can't understand what problem the Chinese authorities have with the world?
Except smuggling cheap and imitated mobile phones of the best brands in the world, I can't recollect even a single thing they have done good for anyone! I honestly salute Steven Spielberg and Baichung Bhutia for supporting the Tibetan cause. However, I see a reason for us Indians refusing the games this time. There is only one sport in the entire history of India which won us medals with true honour and dignity - Hockey. Now with India performing poorly in the qualifiers, We know that we are good for nothing and this way we might render sympathy of a few and might as well clear our name from the firing line for not getting a medal. Use Hockey for our own good ;)
According to me, the whole of India should boycott the games and then claim the success of other countries to ourselves as it would be because of our backing out that others were able to earn the medals. Ponder.

The second point I would want to make is that of the free will of a country so beautiful and complete that the monks of Tibet actually sell their Ferrari. They are a free country and China is big brother of the East has no right to muscle its way into the country's political and religious sentiments. In 1959, if my stats are correct, China has signed on the dotted line saying that it will not interfere in the religious and political outlook of Tibet. Then why now? Why all the hype and hoopla about? This is exactly what the Tibetans are asking for, the promise made to be honoured and this is exactly what the Chinese are forgetting. Anyone, please ask them the question why? WHY?

Third and the last point, I urge to the entire world to stand-up against the wrongs and the killings of the innocent taking place in Tibet by the Chinese. Rise to the occasion as we all know what is happening behind the closed doors and take charge of the situation. We all talk about making this world a better place to live-in, so lets begin by boycotting the games completely and rob India's only chance of throwing the medals away for its fake Olympian glory.

Let us all say in one voice - FREE TIBET, NO OLYMPICS and with all the butt of jokes surrounding China at this moment, more than Olympics, its Lafalympics!

Please log on to http://www.beijingolympicsboycott.com/ and register your support for Tibet.

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The corelation between stock market and Cricket!

Actually speaking, I did not want to write this particular blog but as you know that I have quit my job (if you don't then read the earlier post!) and have no work whatsoever to do. Kids in their summer vacation are busier than me as they have some holiday homework to do, but me? Nope. Work was worship, now its just a burden and I am happy to off-load it for some time. I never in my wildest dreams imagined that the word ‘quit’ will be music to my ears!!

Anyways, my empty head hasn't become the devil’s workshop as yet but if it goes with the current Mach 4 speed, you bet that my next post will be as wild as a wild bear and as off-track as Indian railways. And its coming soon.

Stocks and Cricket – any similarities? Well, I realised today, yes. Anyhow the similarities are too far fetched and useless but there are a few! To begin with, both in relation to India cannot be judged. Its like the weather bureau of India. “It ll be sunny outside with maximum humidity touching 78% and no sign of rain.” Actually? Its a hailstorm outside, 98% humid and Sun hides like an Indian old fashioned bride in front of her in-laws. All the assumptions and predictions about Indian stock market and Indian Cricket has to go wrong. Its like an unwritten rule. Section 78 (B) clause 58.4: No matter how positive the game and stocks look, must nosedive is predict to move up and vice-verse.

Its been four magnificent long years since the Indian bull run begun and after an year of me actually studying the market thought of starting with baby steps into investing the markets crashed and the US went into possible recession. Just a day into my investment beginning, dammit, what a strike. You bet if compared to Football, Ronaldo will shy away by the accuracy of the u-turn. Anyways, suddenly out of the blue everyone has started to talk about recession, sub prime crisis and Mr Bernanke is about to be hanged by the neck and Indian investors may follow suit and they blindly ape the west. I hope someone predicts that the markets will continue to crash and just to prove the man wrong they rebound miraculously and leave everyone puzzled like always! Amen.

Now, Cricket. Who could have possibly thought that after putting such a show at the fist test match, India will be bowled out for 76. I mean 76 in just 20 overs, 120 balls flat. A true lazy ass, I woke up at 10 and switched the TV at 12 to see India bat just to be told that we have been all-out for 76. Imagine a week prior, when Sehwag made a world record of maximum runs in a single day, 257, and the test match grossed over 1500 runs. 76. just 76. FCUK. Anymore predictions anyone? Come one take a wild guess as who knows India might just do the opposite? What? Of course they will. They are notorious for that. Cricket or no Cricket, they will prove us wrong every time. Be it winning a tournaments being underdogs of the highest order or losing a match against substituted 11 of Bangladesh.

May Gods grace be upon Stock market and Cricket. I don't have any short positions in Cricket but stocks, yes. I guess, from now on one has to look at Cricket to predict the markets as the basic fundamental of functioning for both of them is merging at a rapid force!! Ponder.

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